Saturday, December 06, 2008

Emotional YoYo

How many times have I said "I'm tired"? Well, I'm tired of being tired! So with that in mind I'm trying very hard to be optimistic and concentrate on the good things.

Case in point, one of my patients left for rehab today. During his recovery I discovered one day I was the first person he smiled at after he was shot in the head. Being moved to rehab was a great step forward for him. He's now closer to his family and will be able to spend Christmas with them instead of with us and that's a dang good thing! I loved it as he got better and was moved to a less acute unit and I enjoyed being able to go see him and watch his progress. Most of all I loved standing in the doorway to his room, hearing his family say "look who's here to see you" and then watching him slowly turn his head towards the door and absolutely GRIN when he saw it was me. On several occasions his wife was ready to take me out, I am quite sure but she never did, only laughed along at his reaction.

I am happy we've not received any new aerovacs. I'm glad to say the influx of wounded seems to have tapered off.

I'm trying to be optimistic but I'm still sad for all those we have lost this year especially with it being the holiday season. I come home from work to my brightly decorated house, festooned with lights on the outside, Christmas tree twinkling in the front window and my thoughts inevitably turn to the families and I wonder how they all are. And instead of being happy my heart hurts.

Ok, the puppy is demanding my attention so I will end this morose tale.
Clara

P.S. Hey Keith, I ready to talk now.

2 comments:

Don said...

Aww c'mon Ms. Clara, it isn't all that morose. I can't remember the last time you started out talking about a win. To be sure the Christmas season does accentuate the difference between those who are not in happy circumstances and those who are. Maybe this year, the message of Hope will be given a little more emphasis than the message of shop 'til you drop.

Miss Em said...

Clara,

Its been a while since I have read any of your writtings. Was surprised to see it on 'Sandbox' so I came hunting on this site that Keith shares with you.

Please do not let the depression that you seem to be developing interfer with the JOYS of the season.
To have a Warrior's Wife be so understanding that her husband is filled with JOY at having his former nurse who was of great care and compassion come for a visit is a wonderful thing. She is not angry about that 'Grin' because that 'Grin' is his way of saying THANK YOU and her laughter is her way of saying 'I agree.'
To have the HIS entire family GREATFUL for your dedication to their Warrior is a 'blessing' that some people in your profession will never get.

Being sad for the Families who have lost their Warrior, especially with it being the holiday season, is in fact NATURAL. You would NOT be human' or the GREAT nurse that you are, if you did not greive for those who have "gripped the Hand of God as he stood there at the end of the fight".

So my dear Clara, snuggle-up with a box of tissues in the corner of the couch, weep and greive for those who have joined God, and then think of all those who when they see you have an Absoluty GRIN on their faces. Think of the things that each of them have done during their recovery that would make you laugh so much you would have tears trickling down your cheecks.

Now say to yourself that,

"THIS HAS BEEN A GOOD YEAR EVEN WITH THOSE MOMENTS OF GREIVING SADNESS".

Then give the Puppy a hug and go for a long walk in the cold crisp air and give yourself an ABSOLUTE GRIN because your are SPECIAL AND NECESSARY TO ALL WHO LOVE YOU even the Warriors with wives....who laugh as you are given that great big Absolute GRIN.