Thursday, July 30, 2009

Worth Your Time

I was sent this link by one of my former patients. I wanted to share it.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Careful What You Pray For

My last post was on The Sandbox blog on the Fourth of July. To read it go to

Like the title says careful what you pray for. Our young patient did die, I prayed he would, he needed to, so badly decimated was his body. However even knowing it's the best thing and praying it would happen do not make it any less sad. It was agonizing on the family and damn painful for those of us staff who took part in his last days. Now in the same room he occupied lies another war wounded. Shot in the head by a sniper his brain is destroyed. Destroyed beyond repair. The family is unwilling to accept it and so as before we wait. We partake in the death watch. We wait and watch for the day when the family begins to grieve a loss that started in war ravaged countries.

More are coming. The medevacs bring them in now three times a week. It's becoming routine and it sucks.

Monday, July 06, 2009

I came home from work tonight to find my puppy covered in doody. It seems she had diarrhea in between the time my friend came and took her on her afternoon walk and the time I arrived home. What a way to end a day! Ugh. . . .

I put a post up on the Sandbox, sorry I was not inclined to write anything over the 4th of July. There was simply too much emotion associated with the holiday weekend. Today when I arrived at work I was dismayed to see our severely wounded young man still with us. I watched his parents stand by his bedside and grieve. The pain and fear were only too evident on their faces. Oh, it was so incredibly sad. The patient himself lies in a drug induced slumber. On a regular basis we decrease the meds to wake him, once awake enough he looks around and begins to cry. Every single time we do this he awakens and cries. How much pain does one endure?

I talk with one of the trauma surgeons and we both agree we do good work. We can put the physical body back together but the psychological? For this patient? I already feel we failed him. We willed him to live when he was already dead. We used all our skills and great technology to bring him back to life. We put his remaining body back together but at what cost?

I try so hard not to judge. It is not for me to say who lives and who dies. I only know it hurts and I struggle with that knowledge.