Saturday, August 08, 2009

We Cried

Probably shouldn't be writing. I've ingested 3/4 a bottle of wine so the spelling on this post may be a bit off, thank goodness for spell check. Yeah, so today sucked. Another OEF died. We knew he was going to, he was already brain dead, we were simply waiting for the family to understand and accept it. Three weeks after his arrival they did.

Today we took him to the OR, he wanted to be an organ donor. The family was there in the OR with him when he took his last breath, they held his hands and cupped his face. Amongst all the medical professionals and transplant coordinators there was not a dry eye in that room.

My friend and fellow nurse was his primary caregiver, I was there to help her. We talked today about the patient we had exactly a year ago, same situation, different patient.

I cried on the phone to a friend tonight. He let me ramble and sob and when I slowed, he tried to divert my attention by changing the subject. I wasn't ready, I signed off the telephone by simply saying "I think I need to go cry some more."

And cry I did. Deep wracking sobs that had the puppy curled up at my side. I cried for the family and the friends, his buddies still deployed who's emails were full of encouragement to get better. I cried for the friend who tried so hard to come and see him but distance and finances prohibited him from being at the bedside. I cried for the patient, a young man I only knew through photos.

I cried for my nurse coworker and I cried for myself. For tomorrow aerovacs arrive bringing more gravely wounded.

MS - May you have been carried by the Angels to God's welcoming and loving arms. You will be missed, of this I am positive.


Anonymous said...


You have one of the most difficult jobs in the world, and from reading all of your posts over the years, you are truly an angel to our wounded warriors.

Thank you for your service and sharing your stories with us. Please make sure you are taking care of yourself so that you can continue to provide such a valuable service.

Thanks again.


Don said...

Every so often, for no apparent reason, Billy Pilgrim would find himself weeping. Nobody ever caught Billy doing it. Only the doctor knew. It was an extremely quit thing Billy did, and not very moist.
Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. Slaughterhouse-Five or The Children's Crusade.

They are all Children's Crusades.