Thursday, September 11, 2008

Today's Goal

I have one goal today; to make it through this day. I slept until 0905 then the puppy forced me up and out of my slumber. After the required potty break I loaded her in the car and headed off for pancakes. I promised myself if I woke early enough I would go out for breakfast especially since I know that's the only way I'll eat today.

That accomplished I sat down to check my email and the tears started flowing. Emails from friends with me this day 7 years ago, all of us connected by tragedy, disaster and loss. The newspaper assails me with saddness. The web pages prey on my emotions. As hard as I try, avoidance mode in full throttle I can not escape. It will hit me suddenly and I'll shatter. Tears welling up in my eyes.

Hair in a ponytail, cosmetics nonexistent I will spend this day quietly, more than likely alone as to be with anyone would take more energy than I have.

It's 1045 and I'm left wondering how to make it through the remaining hours of this day known at September 11th.

1 comment:

Miss Em said...

Altho I had to work on Sept 11th, there were times I just had to stop and take several deep breaths and to let the SAD-ness ease from my mind.
When I got home I was totally drained and need some really serious down time. Took a hot shower and went to bed early with a good book.
My furry-fuzz ball joined me and made certain that her motor was going full blast and that I knew she was there by pricking a claw occassionally into my ankle. Some- times that furry-fuzz ball is nice to have around but the pricking claws are not.